I’ve made a recent commitment to never ask for numbers again. You might be thinking this is because I’m getting married soon, but that’s not the case. In fact, I don’t believe anyone, single or married, should ever ask for numbers.
Let me explain.
When I first began pursuing my wonderful fiancé, Carly, I didn’t ask for any sort of numbers. She was the girl next door, and I was the hopeful guy admiring her from just a few feet away. She was radiant, full of joy and optimism, and I would’ve liked to believe that I matched that in my own character as well.
When I first told people that I liked her, they said that the odds of her liking me back were slim to none.
She kept turning me down when I asked to spend time with her. I asked to come over and borrow something from her, and she wasn’t there. I asked to have a movie night with her house, and she was the only one who couldn’t come. By this time, I was close to giving up, because there wasn’t much evidence that she truly liked me.
Reality was, however, she did like me. She was just busy.
But the people who love and care for me didn’t want me to get my hopes up when I pursued her, so they asked for the numbers. They asked for how many times she said yes, how many times she said no, and if there was enough evidence for me to continue.
If I had listened to the odds of the situation, I wouldn’t be getting ready for marriage now.
But this is how life operates for a great majority of our culture. We are a people who live by the numbers, research, and the odds of things, as if they are unshakable facts over our lives. We give too much power to what research proves, and we’re suffering because of it.
Living by numbers is a poison contaminating our culture with cynicism.
Just recently when I posted articles on getting married young, people kept coming back to me with what research and numbers show about the success of marriages. These numbers were given as if they have some sort of validity over the success of my own marriage.
Truth is, numbers have no power over what you are capable of doing. Research means nothing when you consider your own life. If anything, the only power they should hold is to inspire you to be the difference, to not succumb to the trends, but rather stand above them.
Numbers force us to have a limited view of our capability and ourselves. But in the end, they’re just numbers, not facts. All they’re doing is fueling our cynicism when we give too much attention to them.
So now, I’m choosing to live in a different way. I used to be a man of absolute rationale and science, but now, I’m learning to put more of my trust in the irrational things of life. Whatever is illogical, what I can’t explain away with numbers and trends, gives me more hope that change is possible. And change is what we should all be striving after.
For everyone reading this, I encourage you: stop giving too much power to numbers. Don’t ask for them and don’t even go looking for them. Rather, put your effort into being the defying 1%, and encourage others to do that as well.
Our responsibility is to defy the odds, not be defined by them.
Be the outlier that shatters our statistics. Live a life worthy of telling, one that forms a new trend of making a difference.