In his bestselling book, Love Does, Bob Goff tells the story of how he sat outside the dean’s office of his law school until the dean admitted him into the school. When I reflect on this story, I can’t help but think of how I would’ve given up sitting outside early on. In fact, I believe many of us would’ve encouraged Bob to not continue with his endeavor.
But regardless, Bob Goff’s persistence worked.
This begs the question: when is it right to give up and when it is right to continue?
Our culture consistently promotes the idea of cutting your losses. If something isn’t working, you cut it out. If you face a close door, don’t continue knocking—instead, move to the next door.
My problem with this idea is that I’m not sure Christianity endorses it.
In the Bible, we hear Jesus tell the story of the persistent widow (Luke 18). She begged for a judge to grant her justice against her enemy, and eventually, the judge gave in. Her persistence was rewarded.
In other situations, we see beggars and sick people repeatedly call out to Jesus while others were telling them to give up. Nonetheless, Jesus hears them and heals them. Their persistence was rewarded.
Continually throughout the Bible, I see an emphasis on persistence toward healthy things.
In our culture, we are like the people telling the beggars and sick people to give up. We don’t like the sting of rejection or failure, and we cut our losses before they become even more embarrassing. But the Bible says that it’s possible for our persistence to be good, just as long as it is directed toward healthy, life-giving things.
This is where I land into trouble. In the past, I’ve admittedly continued with projects I shouldn’t have. I was persistent in the things I should’ve let go.
But then there were other times in which my persistence toward my dreams were rewarded.
So here was the question I wrestled with: how do I know which things to let go of and which things are healthy to persist in?
If you are struggling with this question as well, here are 3 questions I ask myself to determine what’s healthy to pursue:
1. Is it your dream?
Oftentimes, we can be persistent in things that aren’t our dreams, but rather someone else’s dream for us. If you look back at your desire, ask yourself: did I always want this? Who has influenced me to want this?
If what you are chasing is something other than your own, it’s best to let go of it. If not, you’ll end up with a life that cultivates the negativity and bitterness of accepting someone else’s vision for you.
2. Does it help you or help others?
This question chooses to look at the value of what you’re chasing. Usually, if the value of your endeavor only benefits you, then it isn’t something that’s healthy to continue—things like your obsession with fame or wealth. But if what you are pursuing helps others, then it is something you can continue. For instance, Bob Goff wanted to be a lawyer to help save people around the world. His law school education helped him do just that.
3. Are you holding it with an open hand?
If you tell yourself you need it, then you’re forgetting about someone you need even more—God. Truth is, our desire for God should trump whatever we are pursuing; if not, then our endeavor is an idol that needs to be set aside.
The Bible repeatedly teaches us that we should hold our life with open hands, since we are not certain what is going to happen. If we value our life too much, then it is an idol that will eventually cause us to lose our life. But if we focus on God, we’ll gain our life.
So ask yourself, do you need whatever you are pursuing? Are you letting God into it, or forcing Him out of it? If you are letting God into what you are pursuing, then it’s healthy to continue; if not, be happy to let it go.
It’s not always bad to cut your losses. You just have to determine what’s the best thing for you to pursue.
Photography by Mikaela Hamilton
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